I’m writing this for healing and closure—not to send, and not to reopen something that’s over. I’m done defending the truth to a brick wall. Gina is not my friend or family. I can honor what I tried, name what was harmful, and choose peace.

I’m sharing one last letter I won’t send, then closing this season so I can enjoy the holidays and write about other things.

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The Letter I’m Not Sending

Dear Gina,
I read your email about “space,” “forgiveness,” and “well wishes.”

My last email wasn’t an attempt to reconcile and neither is this one. I can own that the tone of my January email could have been softer; I was shocked and hurt. But I have always respected your boundaries—even when they were painful—and I consistently tried to resolve misunderstandings with care.

For years I invested trust, time, and heart because I believed our friendship was safe. Your responses—silence, shifting stories, and assumptions—taught me it wasn’t. I should have created distance long ago, because the cycle was affecting my mental, emotional, spiritual, and even physical health.

What I needed was clarity and honesty. Instead, I received mixed messages: language about “space” paired with gifts, replies to my husband, and gestures that kept me guessing. That isn’t space; it’s confusion.

I’m not accepting “forgiveness” for things I didn’t do, and I can’t offer forgiveness where there’s no accountability or change. I’m not carrying blame for your decisions, nor apologizing for having valid concerns.

Here are the harms I’m releasing:
– long silences and refusals to communicate,
– twisting words and motives,
– talk-downs and judgments about my worth and safety,
– retaliatory gestures that bypass me but involve my family.

I’m choosing to end contact for my well-being. Please respect the distance you named: no messages through my husband, no gifts to my children, no indirect contact. I wish you and your family a good life, separate from mine.

This is my closure. I did all I could with honesty and kindness. I’m moving forward at peace.
— H

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What I’m Keeping—and What I’m Letting Go

• Accountability matters. Words like boundaries, forgiveness, space, and healing only help when paired with honesty and consistent action.
• Clarity over confusion. If someone wants distance, they don’t keep a foot in the door. Mixed messages keep people stuck.
• No more over-explaining. I’m retiring the habit of defending what I know to be true.
• Respecting my own limits. I won’t accept blame for the choices someone else made, nor accept “forgiveness” used to save face.
• Protecting my peace. That includes blocking peripheral access (like social follows) and asking that my family not be used as a side-door for contact.

Why This Really Is the Last Post (for a long while)

Writing this series helped me untangle gaslighting, name patterns, and stop normalizing what hurt. I’m not revisiting this to re-argue the past; I’m bookmarking my growth. I’ve healed a lot already. The rest of my energy belongs to the people and projects that love me back.

For Anyone Who Needed to Hear This

You don’t have to accept toxicity—friend, coworker, in-law, or anyone else. Your mental, physical, and spiritual health matter more than keeping the peace for someone who won’t meet you halfway.