It’s been a while. I took a break because life got heavy, and I didn’t have the emotional bandwidth to keep writing. I truly thought the Gina chapter was over. But toxic people don’t always allow a clean ending. Even when they claim they need “space,” they still find ways to re-enter your life—indirectly, quietly, and strategically—just enough to pull you back into stress, keep you guessing, and maintain control.

And that is exactly what this feels like.

Life has been a lot

I’m not going to cover everything that’s happened the past couple months yet because it’s a lot and it will take multiple posts. The stress piled up so badly that I became physically ill from anxiety.

One example: my dog became extremely sick from a tooth infection that spread to his kidneys. He ended up hospitalized, and there were moments we thought we would have to put him down. It has been heartbreaking.

Thankfully, he has improved so much. A couple weeks ago he couldn’t walk or lift his head. Now he’s walking on his own and eating solid foods again. We’re visiting him again tomorrow. (There’s also a separate story for later about why I have to “share” my dog with my mom.)

Because of all this, the kids and I have driven to see him several times—and we have to drive by Gina’s house every single time. I hate that I even have to think about running into her, but I do. She asked for space, so if I ever saw them, we would keep walking. But the fact that I have to plan around her like that says everything.

One year of “space” that still isn’t space

November 13th marked one year since Gina’s “time and energy” email. This year has already been exhausting—because healing is hard enough without the person who hurt you continuing to pop up just enough to reopen the wound.

Here’s what I’m done pretending not to see: Gina’s “space” has never been about peace. It has been about control and image management.

She knows what she does triggers me. She knows I used to respond by over-explaining and defending myself. That was the dynamic. That was the control. And I’m not doing it anymore.

I’m done reaching out. I’m done trying to repair something that isn’t mine to repair. She chose stonewalling. She chose to ignore me for an entire year. And she chose to speak about “love” and “value” while acting in ways that directly contradict those words.

If you can ignore someone for an entire year and still claim you “love” them, then your definition of love is performance—not reality.

The line from her email that finally clicked

Gina wrote:

“Forgiveness brings me peace and I sincerely hope you find the same for yourself in time.”

For a long time I couldn’t understand what she meant. Now I do: she wasn’t hoping I’d find peace with her. She was implying that “in time” I would forgive myself—as if I should accept blame for the story she decided was true.

That is the pattern. She reframed my valid concerns as an attack. She labeled me as unsafe. She used therapy language to make herself look mature and me look toxic—without actually doing any of the mature parts, like communicating, taking accountability, or having a real conversation.

The mixed signals are not an accident

I tried to talk to her over a year ago because her behavior was confusing and inconsistent. That wasn’t me “attacking” her. That was me trying to understand a relationship that suddenly felt unstable.

Here are the facts:

• She never clearly said whether we were still friends or whether she was ending the friendship permanently.
• She ignored my attempts to talk, then framed it as me “arguing” and her refusing to “defend.” Meanwhile, I have always been the one defending myself in this friendship.
• She ignored me but responded to my husband’s holiday greetings.
• She texted my husband a Happy Birthday GIF while ignoring me, ignoring my birthday, and ignoring every attempt I made to work through things. She had never done that before. It was intentional.
• She sent gifts in 2024 and 2025 while still claiming she needed space.

That is not “space.” That is selective access and emotional control.

The Amazon gift: the newest manipulation

The night before Thanksgiving, I saw an Amazon box at my door. I hadn’t ordered anything. I knew immediately it was from Gina. I was right.

I believe she chooses Amazon because it’s trackable. She can see when it’s delivered. She can know we received it. And it creates a situation where she “wins” no matter what:

• If I thank her, she gets to act like everything is fine and that her behavior is justified.
• If I don’t thank her, she gets to tell people I’m ungrateful.
• If I return it, she gets to play the wounded, loving person who “tried.”

Inside, one gift message said: “Enjoy your gift! From Gina.”
Then I found another message later: “Merry Christmas! You all are loved. Enjoy! From the M******* Family.”

“You all are loved” is a bold statement from someone who has ignored me for a year and refused to have one honest conversation.

This is what love-bombing looks like when it’s mixed with stonewalling: affectionate words, performative gestures, and zero accountability.

This is about her image

I see this gift as Gina protecting her image, not repairing anything.

This is not reconciliation. This is PR.

“I sent a gift, so I’m not bad.”
“I’m loving, so she must be the problem.”
“I created space for healing, so I’m the mature one.”

If she wanted to repair the relationship, she would have been willing to talk. If she wanted to be honest, she would have clarified what she wanted instead of disappearing and then popping up with gifts.

I’m not playing along anymore.

What I wanted to say — and what I’m choosing instead

I thought about sending a short email:

“Please don’t send gifts. You asked for space, and we do not have a relationship anymore. This is confusing and painful rather than loving.”

But the truth is, I already tried. She ignored me for a year. She has shown me who she is. So I’m keeping my words for my blog and for myself.

She doesn’t get to rewrite reality. And she doesn’t get access to me just because she dropped a box on my porch.

The physical toll

This year has affected my body: migraines, pain, tension, jaw pain that started after her last email. My nervous system has been in survival mode while I’ve tried to accept the truth: she chose distance, she chose silence, and now she wants to pop up just enough to look loving.

I’m done reacting. I’m done reaching out. And I’m done being controlled.

This gift doesn’t change what happened. It doesn’t erase a year of stonewalling, blaming, and rewriting reality. It doesn’t repair anything—it just creates another situation where I’m expected to react.

But I’m not reacting anymore. I’m choosing peace, and I’m choosing distance—real distance. If Gina wants “space,” she can finally have it, because I’m done being pulled back into her cycle.

At this point, I’m not confused anymore—I’m clear. “Space” doesn’t include popping up with gifts, messaging my husband, and ignoring me. That isn’t healing. That’s control and image management. So I’m done participating.

I’m not responding. I’m not thanking. I’m not explaining. I’m not defending myself to someone committed to misunderstanding me. The only place my truth will live is here—and I’m moving forward without her.

Next, I’ll share more about Gina’s pattern of confusion, contradictions, and why she keeps reappearing even after claiming she needed space.