In prior posts, I’ve shared the interpretations I was given about what some of Gina’s emails may have meant. I’ve also tried to make sense of her last email (October 2025) in any way I could. I’m working through this publicly because I need understanding—and I cannot rely on Gina to provide it. She made that very clear.

She stepped away in silence and mixed messages.
She stepped away using word salad to control the narrative and walk away “cleanly.”
And she left me sitting with the confusion and the mess.

In these next few posts, I want to first share what I thought her last email meant, and then what I was later told it likely meant—and what I’ve learned since. This will wrap up the Gina “chapter” for good… or at least until something else comes up. I need a break to heal. And let’s be honest—she isn’t thinking about me anyway.

A Quick Refresher

To be clear: none of those emails were written to intentionally harm her or make her feel unsafe.

For those new here, or as a reminder:
In October 2025, I sent Gina—someone I once called a best friend and who was also my sister-in-law—a very short email. It was meant to be an apology for the tone of my January 2025 email and my October/November 2024 emails that “may have been confusing or hurtful.”

I have worked through many regrets. Most of them involve how long my emails were, and how much I over-defended and over-explained myself. What I regret most is apologizing at all. Staying quiet would have been the best option for my healing. Silence would have ended the cycle and made it clear I was done being controlled.

But healing doesn’t come with do-overs. I’ve learned, and I’m moving forward determined not to repeat those patterns again.

How I Feel About My “Apology” Email

• It made me look weak and gave Gina more justification to believe she was right to “create space” and blame me for it.
• She knew my weakness was over-explaining when I felt attacked, judged, or misunderstood. This time, I didn’t do that—and I believe that surprised her. I won’t claim to know her intentions, but it felt like she wanted me to unravel so she could maintain control and reinforce her narrative.

My January 2025 Email

• She viewed it as “harsh,” but her definition of harsh or unsafe is inconsistent and often hypocritical. When others express hurt—even gently—she perceives it as a threat. Meanwhile, she has no issue being passive-aggressive, condescending, or morally superior while claiming she’s “doing the right thing.”
• I told her she “needed help” because she said she was working through emotions and triggers. I wasn’t trying to be cruel—but my hurt affected my wording. I was tired of being talked down to, and I hadn’t yet learned how to stand up for myself in a healthy way.
• I was understandably upset. She had been gaslighting, twisting my words, controlling narratives, and judging my character. She spoke as if she were healed and mature, while I was framed as toxic and immature. She even claimed in her November 2024 email that she’d made significant effort, and that her “time and energy would be directed elsewhere.”

Important Context

• Before this, she had never told me I had done anything wrong—aside from a situation in 2020/2021 that she later admitted she had overreacted to.
• For years, she spoke kindly about me and expressed appreciation for our friendship. She also claimed to be happy I didn’t walk away from her when there were differences or misunderstandings. Yet in her last email, she talked as if she had repeatedly told me I was hurting her and I refused to change—which simply wasn’t true. I was blindsided.
• She never communicated hurt directly. She ignored conversations instead. Ignoring is not communication—it sends the message that the other person isn’t worth the effort. I later realized she was only willing to talk when she felt insecure or wanted to attack my character, forcing me to defend myself.

I now question whether the kindness and closeness were real, or whether they were part of emotional manipulation and love-bombing.

My November 2024 Emails

Her “time and energy elsewhere” email devastated me. She told me that if I couldn’t trust her without needing to talk things through, she would step away.

• I panicked. I over-explained. I tried desperately to fix it—and I believe that’s part of why she ignored me. I became “too much.”
• A week later, I sent another email trying to express how much she mattered to me. She finally acknowledged me—but still didn’t respond to the substance of anything I said.
• She then claimed she was “too busy” and needed “more time to process,” while still responding to my husband’s holiday texts, and mailing a family Christmas gift. That told me everything I needed to know.
• I chose to step back and enjoy the holidays, respecting the time she said she needed.
• I often wonder if I should have told her I needed space first. I planned to—but she beat me to it, making it look like she was the one setting healthy boundaries and removing “toxicity.”
• Her January 2025 email claiming she didn’t know “how to navigate forward” and that she didn’t feel “safe or good enough” was deeply hurtful—especially since she echoed my own words back at me while treating me like a stranger.

Why I Finally Spoke Up

I sent my January email but I had never been harsh before—even though she had been many times. I told her I would not treat her the way she was treating me. That was the truth.

When I needed less than two months of space in late 2020 for my mental health, she assumed the worst and ignored me for five months. If roles were reversed, I would have been understanding and willing to talk immediately.

What Frustrated Me Most About Her Last Email

• She talked down to me and positioned herself as healed and superior.
• She acknowledged me only after I apologized—something that had happened before.
• Phrases like “I can see it took reflection” felt condescending.
• She referenced “space I created” without ever clearly communicating it. Her explanations changed constantly.
• She used therapy language while continuing harmful behavior. Growth doesn’t happen when blame is projected outward.
• Saying, “while I hold no resentment” contradicted her actions throughout 2024 and 2025.
• “Moving forward” and “take care” felt like finality—and I accept that now.

What I Need to Make Clear

• My apology was not a plea for forgiveness. I did not do anything unforgivable.
• I am not accepting her forgiveness. I do not need it.
• I do not regret expressing hurt, confusion, or the desire to repair something I valued.
• I regret apologizing for standing up for myself.
• This came without warning. She chose the easiest path—blame and silence—rather than honesty and repair.

When she said, “I sincerely hope you find the same for yourself in time,” I now understand what she meant:
She believes I need to forgive myself for something she never clearly named.

She wished my family well—twice. That told me everything.

One Last Thing

In July 2024, she wrote:
“If someone is sincere and trying, I can be open to it.”

I was sincere. I was trying.
She just couldn’t see it—because her assumptions clouded the truth.

And with that, it’s time to share what a second opinion helped me see about Gina’s last email.