This is another behavior that caused so much confusion for me—and honestly, it took me the longest to fully understand.
Gina gaslit me. She twisted my words, made up meanings that weren’t there, created scenarios that never happened, and rewrote past situations in ways that always painted me as the problem.
I have a lot of examples, but I’m going to share the four biggest ones—the ones that finally helped me see the pattern clearly.
1. The Text That “Proved” Something That Never Happened
Before Gina and I were even friends—while she was first dating my brother-in-law—he sent me a strange text:
“If you ever need to talk, I’m here for you.”
It felt odd because we barely spoke beyond polite hellos at family gatherings. I didn’t open up or engage. I sent a short, impersonal reply from my husband, who was sitting next to me and told me to send it.
His response was immediate:
“Never mind. Let’s keep it friendly.”
That confused me—because it already was friendly. My gut told me something had shifted behind the scenes.
Three years later, when I finally reached out to Gina to clear the air (because things had always felt awkward and I was tired of carrying that feeling), she admitted she was behind the sudden change.
But her version of the story didn’t match reality.
She claimed:
- I texted him first
- I was trying to get personal
- She and Joel (brother-in-law) had early “rules” about not talking to the opposite gender
- Any woman texting him—even family—was inappropriate
She gave examples that had nothing to do with me:
A coworker sharing a photo of her newborn niece.
A man asking her advice about his girlfriend.
Her brother-in-law reaching out when his marriage was falling apart.
None of those situations were remotely similar—but she lumped them together to justify her belief.
No matter how calmly or clearly I explained the truth, she wouldn’t hear it:
- I did not text first
- I did not get personal
- I did not have long talks
- The message came from my husband
She repeated her assumptions over and over until I finally gave up—not because she was right, but because she wasn’t listening.
At the time, I let it go to preserve the friendship. I didn’t realize I had just been taught something important:
Her assumptions mattered more than the truth.
2. Rewriting the Past to Control the Present (Early 2021)
This is where things escalated.
After almost five months of silence—her retaliation for my overwhelm—she finally responded in early 2021. What followed was a flood of gaslighting.
She told me:
- I “should have communicated,” while justifying her own silence
- She didn’t need to communicate because she thought my anxiety made it “too much” for me
- We “must have” received a Christmas invite text and implied I was lying
- I should have been clearer about a February party during a pandemic—even though I had already explained why we couldn’t attend
She compared attendance numbers.
She spoke down to me.
She framed herself and her husband as always doing things “right,” while we did everything “wrong.”
Then she said something that stuck with me in the worst way:
“Joel and I don’t agree with how you and your husband live, but we still love you.”
That wasn’t concern.
That was superiority.
The Birthday Party That Became a Weapon
She also completely rewrote a text exchange from three months before we became friends—about my daughter’s third birthday.
Her version:
- She responsibly explained why she couldn’t come
- I guilted her
- I stressed her out
- She was overwhelmed and victimized
The truth?
She texted:
“I have to work and not taking off.”
I apologized for only giving a month’s notice and explained family dynamics thinking I could open up to her about our MIL—something she later twisted into:
“It’s not a big deal. If someone can’t make it to one of our parties, we don’t make a big deal.”
That sentence alone implied I had made a big deal—when I never did.
In 2021, she brought this back up, twisted it further, and used it to define my character.
And when I defended myself?
She minimized it.
She downplayed my effort.
She reframed herself as gracious for tolerating me.
3. January 2024: Gaslighting in Real Time
After we ran into each other at a monster truck event, I sent my normal follow-up email. I even explained—too much, as usual—that we respected their time and didn’t want to intrude since they were with friends.
She twisted that into:
- Me being selfish
- Me complaining
- Me wanting their attention
She said things like:
“When someone invites you, you do your best to focus on them.”
“We do our best to invite others and go when invited. We value one-on-one get togethers.”
Which hurt—because she had never made one-on-one time with us a priority.
Then she ignored me until I apologized for over-explaining and defending: I wasn’t being selfish or whining that they didn’t make time for us while there-the way she made it seem.
For an entire year, I believed I had said:
“If we had known you’d be there, we could’ve sat by you.”
I didn’t say that.
I later found the email during her silence.
I had said the opposite.
That’s how deeply gaslighting messes with your mind.
4. November 2024–October 2025: My Concerns Became Proof I Was “Bad”
When I finally voiced concerns, they were twisted into accusations against me.
I was told:
- I was cruel
- I was toxic
- I should be grateful she forgave me
- I was attacking her
- I didn’t trust her heart
- I didn’t appreciate how much she had done
- She had done everything right
- I was the problem
This wasn’t communication.
It was character assassination.
What I Finally Understand Now
This wasn’t misunderstanding.
It was gaslighting—a form of emotional manipulation meant to gain control.
Here’s why someone does this:
1. Control and Power
Gaslighting isn’t about the topic—it’s about dominance. Once you doubt yourself, they hold the power.
2. Insecurity and Ego Defense
By making me “wrong,” she didn’t have to face herself.
3. Projection
She accused me of things she was doing.
4. Rewriting History
Dragging up old situations forced me to stay defensive and prove my worth.
5. Possible Mental Health Factors
I’m not diagnosing—but chronic gaslighting is often linked to deep emotional issues and lack of empathy.
6. Learned Survival Behavior
If manipulation worked in the past, it becomes a habit.
What I Wish I Had Known Sooner
- Document everything. Saved messages helped me reclaim my reality.
- Stop explaining. Gaslighters don’t want clarity—they want control.
- Set boundaries—or leave. Some people won’t change.
- Protect your mental health. Long-term gaslighting causes real harm.
I chose to walk away completely. And I don’t regret it.
Closing Reflection
Gaslighting doesn’t just hurt—it erases you.
Your voice. Your memory. Your confidence.
But clarity comes when you stop trying to convince someone of the truth
and start trusting yourself again.
Walking away wasn’t weakness.
It was the moment I chose reality, peace, and myself.
My Friend Abandoned Me and All I Have Is This Blog….. 
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